I want you more than these girls want KFC
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
