xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
