the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
