Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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