i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
