dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
