She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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