I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
