Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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