i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
