I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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