i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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