i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
