besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
