I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
