You really coming over, don't trick.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
