LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
