Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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