Sponge bath it is.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
