You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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