Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize