and she was petting her beer can
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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