I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize