You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
