I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
