We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All I want is dick and wine.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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