Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
