i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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