shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
