Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
