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I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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