You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he fucked my hip out of place.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
