I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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