got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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