Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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