I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
