so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We got so high we made milksteak
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
