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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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