Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
