Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
