Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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