remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
