her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize