Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
