yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
