my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
