Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
