The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
