i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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