Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
