This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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