Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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