I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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