I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
