i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
only you would photoshop your dick
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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