Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
