you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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