I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
