this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
