i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We have started to decorate penises.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
