i think i have two assholes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
