Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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