I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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