My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
